Homeschooled children tend to have the reputation of being “weird”. I remember when I first brought up the idea of homeschooling to my family and friends they were very concerned about whether our kids would be strange and unsocialised.
I will be honest sometimes my kids are weird and totally fit the stereotype. There are days they are still in their pyjamas at 4pm and they might were odd looking outfits out in public and not care.
Let’s get down to why people seem to think homeschooled kids are weird.
Homeschooled Children Won’t be Socialised
I am going to say this straight up, you socialise dogs, not children. How many times do you remember being in school and the teacher telling you “you aren’t here to socialise!”? More than once I am sure.
The truth is homeschooled children are often some of the most well rounded socially adjusted children you will find. Children who are homeschooled aren’t locked in a house all day every day. They learn social behaviours by being out in the community and living and every day life. I remember a relative saying to me “but how will they learn how to stand and wait in a line?” I assured him there are many, many lines for my children to practice the art of line standing.
Think of all the extra-curricular activities children do, music lessons, sports, art classes, drama, choirs etc. Homeschooled kids do those too. They also participate in classes with other homeschooled kids, and do field trips, camps, dances and even get to go to birthday parties!
Socialisation Doesn’t Just Happen in a Classroom
When you think about it, a school environment is not a true replica of real life. There is no other time in life when you are separated by your age group and spend all day every day with people of the same age as you. In real life you need to be able to interact at relate you people of all ages.
Homeschooled children have many more opportunities to develop the ability to speak to adults in a confident and mature manner. They are also exposed to children of different ages and genders. At the co-op my children attend there is a vast range of ages, yet everyone is able to work and play together. The older children help the younger children and include them in their games and in doing so the younger children are learning the art of socialisation.
The Sheep Mentality
Have you ever noticed how children in school are very easily swayed to follow the crowd? My main goal in school was to blend in. I didn’t want to stand out or be different. Everyone wore the same clothes, had the same hair cut, and liked the same things. There was no true individuality.
Homeschooled children will get the weird stereotype because they are not as easily influenced by fads and crazes. They are not in the environment where everyday they are bombarded with what they should look like and what they need to like. I don’t even know who starts these trends??
These kids are able to figure out what they truely love and enjoy. Sometimes what they love can make them seem odd. My daughter has just started learning to sew and she loves to wear her awkward creations. I mean she is only five they aren’t going to be perfect. However she thinks they are lovely and is really proud of her work. I feel that if she were to be in a school setting and tried to wear one of her creations that she would be knocked down and have her confidence shattered. Homeschooling has allowed her to be her own person and embrace her quirkiness without being ashamed of it.
But how will they relate to their peers? Well just because they aren’t at school doesn’t mean they have no idea what is ‘cool’ in the world. Many times they will actually enjoy these things too. Right now the craze is a game called Fortnite. Now my son has never played it but he knows enough to be able to have conversation. Homeschooled kids are actually really fantastic at being able to find common ground with anyone. It comes back to that socialisation thing. They interact and form relationships with a variety of people and that experience gives them the ability to be able to adapt to the situation.
I Don’t Want Schools to Socialise My Kids
I have seen the “socialisation” that happens at school and I don’t want my children to be socialised in that way. The bad language, over sexualisation, bad attitudes, low morals and pressure to conform are just the start.
Schools are teaching things these days that should be taught in the home. The power that schools have over children is far too much. The freedom they have to teach our children what they please is not okay. I don’t want my children to go to school for 7 hours each day to be taught things that we as a family do not agree with. It undermines us as parents and confuses the children.
People may say “but children need to hear other viewpoints and ideas from others”. I couldn’t agree more, but it needs to be done in the right way. There are ways to it that are respectful of a parents right to raise their child how they wish.
I don’t like that sibling relationships take a back seat. Friends and their opinions take precedence of family. One of the most valuable things for my family about homeschooling is the strength of the relationship that my children have with each other and us as parents. This is something that I have seen continuously in the homeschooling community. Friends will come and go but your family are with you forever. It makes sense that I would want to nurture those relationships. While my children have many friends outside of our family, their siblings remain the very best friends.
What About Bullies?
The same relative who questioned where my children would learn to stand in line also worried about where my children would get the chance to be bullied. Why would you want that for your child? In what other environment is it okay for individuals to bully each other in the name of “building character”?
I agree that children need to develop resilience and the ability to handle the tough things in life but to learn that via bullying is not how it should be done.
Bullying does still happen to homeschooled children. The reality is not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to be nice to you. That is part of life. The benefit of homeschooling is that as a parent you are able to be there for your child, not to step in and take over the situation but to be able to talk your child through how to deal with it.
Children can learn resilience and how to deal the thorns in life in other ways that having their self worth ripped to shreds. There is a reason suicide is at an all time high, and bullying is right at the top of that list. If you looking for a great resource for developing self worth and resilience I can highly recommend any product from The Big Life Journal. They have so many wonderful printables and a fantastic journal that focuses on this issue. They are doing amazing things to build children up to become the best they can be. Buy the journal (there’s one for kids and another one for teens) then look through they amazing printable packs to see which would be of the most benefit for your child. I promise once you start using their products you will be back again and again!
Some Kids are Just Weird
I am sure you can’t tell me there weren’t weird kids at schools too. Weird homeschooled kids would more than likely be weird schooled kids too. In the homeschooled community there are good number of children who are on the Autism spectrum. These children are naturally socially awkward and could be described as weird. These children however thrive in the homeschool environment. They have friends who love them, understand their quirkiness and they just accept them for who they are. They are just their friends. And you better believe that these kids will have each others backs on the play ground.
There is actually nothing wrong with being weird. If my kids are weird homeschoolers I am pretty happy with that description because I know that my children are happy, well adjusted and confident children. They can hold a conversation with anyone. They can go somewhere new and make friends in the first 5 minutes. They are individuals who know what they love and who they are. They are learning how to deal with hard things without having to be bullied. If that is what makes them weird unsocialised homeschoolers then I will totally embrace it and shout it from the roof tops.
