In its most basic form “deschooling” is the adjustment period a child goes through once they are taken out of formal pubic or private school education. It is often confused with unschooling which is an educational philosophy wherein the child directs their own education. 

 

What is Deschooling? 

As mentioned above, it is the adjustment period after the child is taken out of school for the purpose homeschooling. There are many reasons why you may have decided to embark on the homeschool journey, and your reasons will in part dictate what deschooling means in your family and how you approach it. 

Regardless of your reasons for homeschooling, it is without question that the school environment comes with a school mindset. Deschooling’s purpose is to allow the child (and often the parent) to create a new mindset surrounding education. 

 

Deschooling Versus Unschooling

These two terms are quite commonly confused or interchanged. So I feel it is important to distinguish between the two as they are quite similar, but have a few important differences. 

• Unschool: The term unschooling is used to describe a homeschooling method. This method of learning is child led. The child will direct the learning based on what they are interested in. There is usually no curriculum used unless it is required for the child to learn that which they are interested in. For example if a child was wanting to learn Japanese, a language curriculum could be bought. The parent here is merely the facilitator in helping to provide the child those materials that they require. That doesn’t mean they aren’t at all involved, they provide an abundance of support and guidance when needed. When a child is younger they may help by exposing the child to a variety of different experiences to broaden their mind and providing them with a spring board on which they can build. 
• Deschool: The process in which a child adjusts to education outside of the school system. This often looks a lot like unschooling in that there is no curriculum and many of the activities are child directed. Deschooling however is simply a stepping stone and not the final destination. It usually only lasts for a few months. 

 

How to Deschool? 

Okay so now that you know what it is, I bet you are wondering “how exactly do I do it?” 

1. Drop the Expectations:  Allow yourself and your child permission to just relax. If that means you get up late then so be it. Let you child know what is going on (so they don’t think you have gone crazy). Let your child have input on what they might like to do during this period. Do they want to do some crafts, hiking, sleep? Teenagers who have been drowning in homework will probably really benefit from getting some uninterrupted and solid sleep hours. 
2. Find Your Village: This means find a homeschool community to tap into. A quick Google or Facebook search of your local area will likely bring up a multitude of groups you could join. You will find that having a community of other homeschooling families will become your life line some days. They will offer you a wealth of knowledge and creative ideas and much needed support. You can sign up for field trips together and co-ops. This will give your child the opportunity to start developing some meaningful friendships. If your child is a little sour about missing their school friends this could be a perfect solution. 
3. Explore: Go out and be adventurous together! Visit museums, libraries, science centres etc. Nature has the amazing ability to relax and calm us. Go and visit the National Park’s near you. Most children will love to complete their Junior Ranger programs without the pressure to go quickly or keep up with anyone but themselves. Discover different foods and markets. You could attend plays and theatre productions, matinee sessions are usually much cheaper than the evening or weekend sessions (BONUS!) 
4. Get Creative: What does your child love to do? If they love building and engineering what about a really amazing kit that they can work on for as long as they want, uninterrupted. Is gardening their thing? What about providing them with the materials and plants to start a small raised garden. The sky is really the limit here! 
5. Keep the Formal Academics Minimal: Avoid trying to rush into formal lessons. Let them have a break from book work and school like education. They will be getting plenty of exposure to education and learning through living. There is definitely a time for the formal stuff but it isn’t now. Use this time instead, to simply observe your child and see how they learn. This will be greatly beneficial for when it does come time to select curriculum. 
6. Read: Read, read, and read some more. Read to your child and get them to become excited about reading for pleasure. There was a study posted by the WashingtonPost that reported only 19% of Americans ever read a book for pleasure. Schools can sometimes kill the love of reading by assigning books to be read then pulling them apart and then requesting book reports and essays to be completed. It is not often that children can simply just read a book for the enjoyment of it. Reading a loud to you children is a fantastic way to expose them to language and literature above that which they can read on their own. 
7. Find Ways to Serve Your Community: One way you can use this deschooling time is to help you child to see that there is a bigger world outside the four walls of a classroom. The school mentality rarely allows time for children to see that there is life beyond homework, tests, and preparing for the following days classes. Volunteer at the animal shelter, visit the elderly, bake treats for neighbours and others who may need a sprinkle of sunshine in their day. 

 

What to Expect While Deschooling?

One of the most common reactions you may experience while deschooling is boredom. Children who have spent years in the school system are used to having every minute of the day accounted for. When they are no longer being told what to do and when to do it, it can be confusing for them. Let them be bored. Children will find things to do, they will start to create and rediscover lost passions. If they continue to complain of boredom I am sure you have a few toilets for them to clean. Trust me they will find something to do pretty quickly! 

They may discover new interests and passions. Once they no longer have school to dictate what and when they learn, they are then free to follow their interests. A child who is passionate about something will learn and engage with it so much quicker and completely rather than if they were being told they needed to learn it. 

If they have left school due to bullying or other similar reasons they may spend this time recovering and healing. They will be able to have the freedom to be themselves in the safety of their home without fear of being torn down. You may slowly start to see your child’s self worth and confidence return as they are lovingly nurtured in the home. 

Sometimes you will find that fighting will increase. This can occur both with parents and siblings as you all become accustomed to spending so much time together. This usually settles down fairly quickly and you will soon see it start to turn in the other directions as parent and sibling relationships are strengthen. This comes as a direct response to sharing experiences together. 

They may worry about grades and testing. If they have always had this as a measure if success, then it seems reasonable for them to be concerned as how they will know if they are succeeding or not. This is particularly difficult for children who have always put a great amount of weight on grades 

If children have had a strong social circle within school they will most likely miss their friends. This is easy to understand. You can try and mitigate this is two ways. Firstly you can provide opportunities for them to visit with their school friends after school hours or on weekends. You may find that you child struggles with feeling out of the loop with these friends once they no longer have that day to day interaction. Secondly, you can help them engage in the homeschool community and make more friends.

 

 

How Long Should I Deschool for? 

There is a lot of different ideas surrounding this. The general consensus is 1 month for each year they were in the school system. The longer a child has been in school the longer it takes for them to decompress and adjust to learning as a homeschooler. That can sound TERRIFYING if you have a 8th grader right?! That doesn’t for a moment mean that they will be sitting in front of the Xbox for the next 9 months. You now have the incredible opportunity to help your child to discover passions and hidden talents and the xbox will soon be put aside for more meaningful endeavours. 

 

Removing your child or children from formal school education can be scary but take a breath, relax and deschool for a few months. You will find that things will become clearer and easier than if you leap right in. I know you are probably excited to get started, but if you don’t take a break to allow your child to decompress in may all just blow up and result in a lot of tears from everyone! 

Just breathe, you’ve got this!