The idea of homeschooling can be daunting enough without the possibility of homeschooling your child with special needs. There are many families who choose to do just that. The mainstream educational system is set up to cater for the very typical child. If you fall on either side of that lovely bell curve you will likely struggle or fall through the gaps.
It just isn’t practical or realistic to expect a school to be able to cater to every single student as an individual though I am sure they wish they could.
Other issues such as bulling are common among children with special needs. They are often easy targets and become fair game for those who wish to exert their power. If you are in the situation where your child is being bullied then please I beg you to read this article about why homeschooling is the best choice for your child.
There are a few things to keep in mind as you consider whether homeschooling your child with special needs. It will be the right choice for many children but some children really do thrive in a school setting and this is something to consider also.
Research
Research when it comes to special needs is like a double edged sword. It can arm you with a wealth of knowledge and power but it can also hurt your heart a little and fill your mind with doubt.
If you are considering homeschooling, it is going to be incredibly beneficial for you to gain as much understanding and knowledge about your child’s needs particularly as it pertains to education and learning.
Spend a good amount of time researching different teaching methods and resources that are effective in teaching children on similar needs to your own. There are many homeschool curriculums, and methods which are more or less suitable to each child depending on learning type.
Speak with your child’s current therapists about what type of resources they can recommend, or strategies to use in a home learning environment. They spend vast amounts of time with children of varying special needs and will be a wealth of knowledge because they know your child personally.
Be Flexible
Homeschooling is all about flexibility. It is important to remember, not just with children who have special needs, but all children that sometimes they just aren’t on our timeline and that is okay.
If what you are doing isn’t working don’t hesitate to switch it up, try something new, or take a break to regroup. Just because one resource or schedule isn’t working does not equate with failure, it simply means you need to try something different. This process can become tedious and frustrating but it is worth it once you finally find your groove and what works for you both.
Remaining flexible is so important when homeschooling children with special needs. If we set too many expectations for ourselves as their educators and on them the student we can be deflated and feel defeated if we do not reach those expectations. When we go with the flow and follow our child’s lead we are more likely to see a greater level of progress and success. Not only academically but in all areas of life.
Find Support
Support is vital when homeschooling but even more so when you are homeschooling a child with special needs.
First and foremost support from your immediate family is paramount for being able to maintain the conviction and strength you need on those hard days. When I say immediate family I am mostly referring to your spouse. If you are both willing to jump on board the homeschooling train they will be your biggest cheerleader and sounding board.
Others family and friends may not necessarily agree and that is okay. You can read more about how to deal with the haters over here, along with a few good come backs!
Once you have the support at home, seek out other homeschoolers. There will more than likely be groups in your area who meet regularly or homeschooling co-ops to join. That is where you are going to find your village!
Homeschoolers choose to homeschool for various reasons but special needs it right up there with one of the primary reasons. When you attend co-ops or activities with other homeschoolers you are more than likely going to connect with other parents who have children with special needs. Whether that be physical, social, emotional or intellectual. They are not going to stop and stare if your child has a meltdown in the middle of the play ground or starts doing “weird” behaviours. They will be standing right alongside you to give you the love and support you need and to assure you that you aren’t in the boat alone.
Online forums and Facebook groups can be some of the best sources of support for homeschooling parents. Sometimes it is hard to get out and meet new people, or just to make it out of the house period some days!
Join Facebook groups for “homeschooling with …..” and whatever special need you child may have. You can ask in larger groups for other parents to point you in the right direction if you are a little lost.
You will find that homeschooling parents are more than willing to help you, we want each other to succeed! If you have a question ask! I have had many of my fears and concerns put at bay by wise old parents who had walked the road before me.
Celebrate Small Achievements
I have felt many times through out the year that we are not making progress and I am failing my children or they are just not reaching the milestones that they should be.
What changed that was my mindset. It became more important to focus on progress in the short term rather than having my mind set on the end of the year. It is so easy to not notice the little achievements your child is making daily when you are with them 24/7. You need to make an effort to take notice.
When we celebrate the small achievements it gives us and out children the confidence and the motivation to keep moving. Sometime the goal we set for them is not what they end up achieving but is something much greater.
Teaching my 5 year old to read was a painstaking process. Everyday we would repeat the same lesson over and over and it seemed as if nothing was sinking it. However by the end of the year she was reading, and reading fluently. I wish now that I had taken the opportunity to celebrate her little achievements like mastering sounding out all the letters correctly, rather than focusing on the end goal that took an entire year to achieve.
Practice Self Care
Self care will keep you strong. There is so much truth to the saying “you can’t help others until you help yourself”. Homeschooling a child or children with special needs will require a lot more patience, effort, and dedication than what is above the norm.
Try to take time away from everyone to enjoy some time to yourself. Find a new hobby to enjoy at night while the kids are sleeping. Make date nights a priority for you and your spouse. Nights out with friends, a simple bath, or a good Netflix binge will all fill up your energy bank.
Don’t let that bank get too low on cash! I will often say to my husband “I need a break” and that is code for “I am going crazy get me out of here!”
One way to curb the crazy feelings is to schedule in daily self care time. For myself I go for a walk every morning alone. This gives me time to think and decompress a little before tackling the day.
I would also recommend putting your children into a good night time routine where you can almost guarantee they will be in bed and asleep at a certain hour. This has been a saving grace in our home. As much as we love our children we do need a break from being constantly “on” for them. This is not more apparent than when you homeschool. At eight pm the kids are in their rooms in bed. I don’t really care what they are doing in there so long as they are being quiet, by the time I check on them an hour later everyone is fast asleep.
Remember YOU are IMPORTANT and YOU are WORTH it. Being a parent to a child with special needs or any child is no cause to become a martyr.
Work to Your Strengths and Passions
Take some time one evening to sit down and really analyse your strengths. What is it that you are amazing at, this is not the time to be modest! Write everything you think of down. You could even get your partner to help you with this. They often see things in us that we fail to see.
Now look at this list and figure out how you can use your talents. Can you use to skills at organisation to create a practical and efficient schedule that will keep you all accountable? Or will you brilliant baking be the catalyst for teaching your child math, science and home economics?
Before you start worrying about how you are going to teach them algebra or to read and write first consider how you are going to spark the joy of learning in them. Your skills and what you enjoy are going to be the best way to engage them. When you are excited and show a genuine love for a topic or an activity they we feed off of that passion and quickly replicate your excitement.
Once you find that excitement and joy everything else will slowly fall into place. It it you job first to great a love of learning and then build on that as you start to teach them.
Be Informed
The area of special needs is vast. There are so many different organisations, specialists, therapists, doctors, hospitals, psychologists etc that come with raising a child who has special needs.
One of your priorities as a homeschooling parent of one of these children is to be their advocate. When a child is in the school system a lot of this is done for you. There are people employed to work out what services and aids your child is entitled too. This is now, in part your responsibility.
In some states a homeschooled child is still eligible for a IEP, and funding for therapy from the public school system. In other states that is not the case, and it will need to be paid for privately.
Be informed about which services your child is entitled to and then use them as you see fit. If you are unsure of where to turn for advice regarding this, ask other homeschooling parents. They have likely been around the block more than once on this issue and will point you to the right people to talk to and the right questions to ask.
Maintain Focus
The day to day hustle and bustle can cause us to lose focus of what is really important. Yes, homeschooling children with special needs is exhausting, relentless and draining in every sense of the word. It is also an incredible blessing. The exhilaration you get when they finally master that concept you have spent weeks working on, is indescribable. The joy you feel when they learn to overcome and push through to achieve success. It is tucking them in at night knowing that you are a team. It’s the little moments, the smiles, the afternoons spent cuddled up on the couch reading aloud.
Success is not measured in test scores or how much a child knows. Success is measured on happiness. Aim for happiness and fulfilment rather than test scores, teach your child that test scores are not the measure of their worth as a person. If it takes them until they are 10 to learn to read fluently then so be it, but don’t kill their love of reading trying force them to accomplish a task the are not ready for.
Focus on being their parent first and teacher second. That is what is going to make you the best teacher for them.
