It is almost a given that at some point in your homeschooling journey you will come face to face with a reluctant learner. The following points are just a starting point of different ways to approach the issue. Sometimes it takes someone who is distanced from the situation to give you insight that you may not yet have thought of.
What do you do when you are all rearing to go? you have all the books and, the amazing resources that you just spent a small fortune on but your child is not having a bar of it!
It can be disheartening, and you question if you are really doing the right thing. Would they be better in school? Are they going to be destined to never read, count, or become proficient at anything other than being the master of Netflix and youtube surfing?!
1. Did You Deschool?
I know it’s a weird word, and you are probably thinking “isn’t that the opposite of what we are trying to accomplish here?” You can read more about deschooling HERE.
If you have recently removed your child from traditional schooling it is important to give them some time to decompress and to change their mentality in regards to education and schooling. If a child has not had enough time to “take a break” it is highly likely that you will encounter resistance to anything that even slightly resembles school.
2. Put the Books Down
Take a break. The more you push the harder the resistance. It is frustrating, trust me I know! Just forget the curriculum and the schedules for the week and get out and enjoy life. Go on a hike, get creative in the kitchen, or work out in the community.
Sometimes all that is needed is a chance to reset the brain. When children are relaxed, and don’t feel like they are under pressure to perform they are usually much more willing to open up to their parents. Remember you are their parent first and teacher second.
You will quite commonly find that the reason for the reluctance is something that was completely off your radar.
3. Get Some Exercise
The is so crucial especially for boys. Children and teenagers need to move, whether they think the do or not! Physical activity increases they ability for the brain to function well and increases attention spans and concentration. Those schools who have increased recess time consistently outperform schools who have cut it down. They also note the the behaviour of the students dramatically improves.
Do you ever remember your teachers sending the class outside to run around the field? It seems there was actually a point to it. In hindsight they were probably wanting to pull their hair out and needed a break but totally understandable!
4. Are they Really Ready?
I spent months and months and MONTHS trying to teach my eldest count. No matter what I did, or how many times we practiced it just wasn’t sticking. He was six and still struggling to count to 10! My four year old was even counting better than him! Surely he should be able to do this right? WRONG!
He was not ready. It didn’t matter how much I pushed him or how frustrated with both got, it just didn’t happen. The constant pressure began to effect our relationship and kill his love for learning. That was the last thing I wanted!
So what did I do? I quit caring about how well he was counting or reading (same issue with the reading). I kid you not, by the time he was six and a half he was counting to 100 forwards and backwards, skip counting by 2’s, 5’s and 10’s, and doing double digit addition and subtraction. By the time he was 7 he was reading chapter books every night when only a few month earlier he was having to sound out EVERY word.
So just relax. When a child is ready to learn the material it will happen quickly and without much effort at all. This process has continued with each of my children.
I know it’s hard to let go of your expectations and comparing your child to what they should be doing.
5. Get Them Excited
This one is sometimes hard because often kids don’t really know what they are excited about. You may have to expose them to many different things to help them discover passions. My eldest is really really REALLY interested in engineering at the moment. I don’t have that kind of brain at all. He has loved different LEGO sets and there are incredible subscription boxes that you can buy that send out boxes of activities each month that engage and excite all ages. There is likely a box for any interest….and what kid doesn’t love mail!
When a child is excited about a topic they will engage and they will learn very quickly. They will also be more willing to put in the work to achieve the outcome.
One of my children has been very reluctant readers. It wasn’t until they discovered a book series that they loved that they were really willing to put in the work. The book series was “The Magic Treehouse” books, you can get them for a decent price on Amazon. Buy the box set, I promise you wont regret it. I soon discovered that after I had put them to bed at night they were climbing into bed together to continue reading to see what happens next. It started very slowly, sounding out each word but the drive and desire was there. It wasn’t long before they were reading fluently and could get through a whole book in one night.
6. Work on Mindset
Is it a confidence thing? How is their self esteem looking these days? This is especially crucial if you are homeschooling due to emotional or bullying issues. Taking the time to build a child up and increasing their self belief can do wonders for their desire to learn.
A AMAZING resource for this is ANY product from The Big Life Journal. I can not praise them enough. We are currently working through one of their one week challenges at the moment. I always find my children’s attitudes and behaviours improve ten fold whenever we spend the time working on their mindset. You could use this as a part of your morning basket routine.
7. Set Goals
This doesn’t need to happen just at the start of the school year. It can be done every day if needs be. Perhaps just sitting down at the start of the day and setting manageable and measurable goals will help the day go smoother.
Learning can be overwhelming for many children. Learning how to do multiple digit addition can sound terrifying, and seeing it laid out in a work book even more so! Help your child break down the long term goal into small and attainable goals. For example, today we will learn our addition facts to 10. They can do that, it’s less scary. Tomorrow we will add in simple addition to five, and so on.
When things are broken into smaller sections it is less daunting and easier to manage.
It is important to assess how the goal went at the end of the day. Where did we do great? What do we still need to work on? What surprised you about the task? And always remember to reward achieved goals. It could be a simple high five or something pretty special for a really amazing accomplishment.
8. Write Them a Note
This is a small but effective approach you could take. A reluctant learner may be doubting their abilities and not be able to express it. A small note, left on their pillow can perk them up and give them that little push in the right direction.
Make a note of the things you admire about them, the things they are great at, and things that you believe they are capable of. Express your appreciation for them and your unconditional love.
These are but a few ideas that are intended to help you engage your reluctant learners. There are a myriad of reasons why your child may be resistant to homeschooling lessons. It may take a few days, or weeks to get to the bottom of it but you will.
There is no one more invested in your child and their education than you. Remember to parent them first and protect their hearts. It is so easy to become frustrated and angry with the situation but that will always make the situation worse. Give yourself and your child permission to have time to figure things out.
