There are so many amazing, fantastic, incredible aspects of homeschooling but there are also some that really suck. Nothing is ever all a garden of roses no matter what it may appear like. I think it is important to be able to share the parts that are not so wonderful so that we can help and support each other. There is just something about someone else struggling with similar problems that makes the burden just seem a little lighter.
I want to share the parts of homeschooling that I really find the most difficult.
1. There is No Break From the Kids
This is something I struggle with a lot of the time. I love my kids, I think they are hilarious, cute and just fun to hang out with but sometime I just want a break from being “on”.
What I mean is that from when they wake up until they go to bed 7 days a week I am the go to person. Sure dad is around and helps out but for some reason they never seem to go to him first. Like last week for example, I am in the shower and the kids are at the table with my husband who is getting them breakfast like he does every morning. All of the sudden the bathroom door flies open and there is my 6 year old holding the peanut butter wanting me to open it mid-leg shave. I know I am not the only one who lives this kind of life!
It is just exhausting emotionally and mentally to be always have to be “on”. There is a reason so many homeschool mom’s get burnt out. You really do need to make yourself a priority as difficult as it is. Mom’s are notorious for putting themselves at the bottom of the list. If you are stuck in this rut then go read how to climb out of the homeschool burnout hole here. Trust me you need it.
2. Everyone Has An Opinion
The moment you tell someone you homeschool people feel like they have the right to tell you exactly what they think. Sometimes this will be oodles of praise that make you feel like superwoman (even though you are pretty sure you forgot to feed the kids breakfast that morning), but more often than not it won’t be pleasant opinions.
It can get tiring having to deal with the naysayers and feeling like you are constantly defending yourself. There are times that their words really do get to you and you really are screwing up your children’s futures.
As the years have gone I have learned how to deal with it a lot better than at the start. Back then I would be in tears often whenever someone decided it was their place to make decisions for my children. If you need some good come backs, or ways to deal with the homeschool haters then go read this post. I would love that you could get to the place I am now much quicker than it took me!
3. The Enormity of Being Solely Responsible for Your Child’s Education
For me this comes in waves. Some weeks I will barely think about it, other days I am awake all night wondering if I am doing enough and if they will survive in life if I never teach them how to do calculus. The answer is yes by the way. They will be just fine if they never do calculus.
Parents who choose public or private schools for their children can share in this responsibility with the schools and teachers. When you homeschool this falls almost entirely on yourself.
What makes me feel better is knowing that there are going to be gaps in their education regardless of whether they went to school or homeschooled. I remember I missed a week of school in 6th grade. I completely missed the lesson on long division. I still have no idea how to do it. If I ever need to know, I will just google it.
4. Too Many Options
When you send your child to school they just taught using what ever curriculum the teacher chooses that suits the majority of the class. Homeschool comes with so many options to choose from. There are different teaching philosophies, different methods, oh and don’t get me started on how many different curriculums there are to choose from.
It can be an exhausting and not to mention expensive mission to figure out what is the right fit for your family and children. Homeschooling may end up looking completely different to how you imagined it. You can easily have hundreds of dollars of unused or partially used curriculum sitting on your shelves. Just sell it, you may think you maybe, possibly could eventually one day use it again. You won’t.
6. The Lack of Adult Conversation
This is something that is particularly difficult in the early years. For the longest time it feels like you are talking but no one is even listening. Or they are listening but they just stare at you blankly.
As your children get older the conversations become more two sided and engaging but it can be rough for a while there.
I feel sorry for my husband when he gets home from work and probably wants to just decompress a little but I bombard him with somewhat of a verbal explosion of conversations I have been saving up all day long.
7. Teaching Children Basic Reading and Math
I think this can be hands down one of my least favourite parts of homeschooling. I actually did my post-graduate study in elementary education. I thought I would work with the little ones learning to read. Thank goodness I never pursued that speciality because I would be rocking in a corner by now.
There are some things I do not do well and that is teaching reading and math. Once they have the basics covered we are fine but it is like pulling teeth at one point. This week my eight year old has just decided he no longer knows how to count?! So we are back to the basics…yet he will do all sorts of other advanced math but the counting thing has him stumped. Who knows what is going on there.
8. Lack of Income
Living on one income can be tough. My husband earns a good income and we live a comfortable life but I could easily double our income if I were to send the kids to school and go to work. I have an education from a respected university and can make good money in the corporate world if I wanted.
It would be nice not to have to think of a budget or analyse purchases or buy a new car instead of a second hand car who’s air conditioning stopped working in the middle of summer. Oh and I would LOVE a bigger house too.
Right now I have decided to do some work from home to bring in some extra money but to also allow me to have something that is just for me, outside of homeschooling and the kids. It is good for my mental health and bank account so it’s a win win.
9. Being Social
Some people are naturally social butterflies. I am not one of those people. It scares me to go out and meet new people and interact with them. When we first started homeschooling I was terrified about having to reach out and make new friends. All my children’s current friends were heading off to school so I knew I had to make and effort to form some homeschooling connections.
It took months and months before anything stuck. I would go to meet ups, and field trips feeling very much like an outsider, but I persevered for my kids sake. If they were at school I would have been spared that difficult experience!
Now we have a wonderful group of homeschooling friends who have been some of our biggest supports and cheerleaders. Our kids have best friends and go to birthday parties and play dates. I also have formed wonderful connections with this other parents who genuinely love and care for my children as much as I care for theirs.
We absolutely love homeschooling. I can not imagine ever putting my children in to a school setting, but as you can see it has it’s hard parts too. It is definitely testing on your sanity some days! However the benefits and the blessings that come from homeschooling far outweigh these negative aspects for our family.
