I knew I was going to homeschool my children before I even had them. I only knew one person who was homeschooled and to be honest he fit perfectly into that stereotypical image that most people have of homeschoolers. The more I got to know him however I realise just how much I liked him. Sure he was a little odd but he was confident in his oddness. He wasn’t content to run with the sheep and oh my gosh was he smart!
That got my mind ticking. I started my post-graduate studies in teaching for elementary aged children because I thought that was what I wanted to do. I dropped out after two months. It was an eye opening experience into what really goes on in a classroom and the amount of pressure that is put on our poor teachers to meet so many expectations. Let’s not even mention the crude language and behaviour that was going on amongst the children.
When I began dating I told my soon to be husband that if and when we had children I was going to homeschool. He didn’t object and has been my biggest supporter ever since.
As Auron our eldest neared school age and my plans were soon to become a reality I was full of all these wonderful images and imaginations of how it was going to be. Some things worked exactly like I pictured others could not have been further from the truth. Those first couple of years were incredibly stressful and I feel for my poor Auron who had to be the guinea pig so to speak. His younger siblings have had a much easier ride!
So now I share with you what I learnt and the advice I others gave me that I WISHED I had listened to.
Every Child Is Different
As parents we hear this from the moment our children are conceived. Every child, walks, talks, and speaks at different ages. There is a huge range of normal.
Auron did not speak until he was three, not even Mama. Then one day he opened his mouth and started speaking in full sentences. This has been the norm for this child.
I spent hours and hours trying to teach him to count. Over and over again I tried everything could think of. At five years old he was kind of counting to 10 about 60% of the time. I was obviously failing at this homeschool thing already or so I told myself. Then, just before his 6th birthday he began counting. But not only did he count to 10, he could count to 100, then backwards from 100, skip counting by 2’s, 5’s and 10’s within a few weeks he was doing double digit addition and subtraction with renaming.
The same process happened with reading, spelling and telling time. It taught me that no matter how much you push a child to learn what they “should” be learning, if their brain is not ready it is going to be one heck of a battle. Once their brain is ready, they will pick it up without even thinking about it.
Don’t Compare
This one goes hand in hand with my previous point. It is so easy to get caught up in comparisons. I have found this to be particularly true for homeschoolers. I think one of the main reasons is that we have no other peers to compare or children to, to see where they fall on the spectrum of “normal”. There is often no state testing in homeschooling so how will I know if my child is okay and I am not failing them?
That is why we compare. I think some comparison is okay but try not to put too much weight into it. You will find homeschooled students also have a wide range of abilities. You will also find that many children are at different levels for different subjects. My kindergarten aged daughter started grade 2 math this year but she was only just learning to read. My 1st grader has skipped two grade levels in language arts but is still at grade level for math.
You Know Your Children Best
When I first started on this homeschooling journey everyone was happy to share their opinions with me. The good and the bad. Sometimes it is really hard to hear someone questioning your abilities and your parenting choices. I remember a family member saying to me “well if I don’t think that they are learning properly then I would have to report you”.
There will no doubt be people who disagree with your decision to homeschool your children. That’s okay, they aren’t their children. Your responsibility lays solely with your children and not with pleasing someone else. My mother while she supports our choice to homeschool our children will often ask “which school we are planning to send them to”. While that still hurts a little I try not to let it affect me because I know she just doesn’t understand.
I have found this particularly true for parents who remove their children from school due to bullying. They are often questioned about whether they are doing their child a disservice by not letting them learn to deal with their problems. Again I say, you know your child and you are their biggest advocate.
Have Fun
Homeschooling doesn’t have to be so serious! When I first started I was so focused on making sure I taught them everything they needed to know that I forgot about the fun! There is more to life than just bookwork and ticking off boxes.
I wish I had made more time to play, and get messy. More time out going on adventures and seeing cool things. Now we dedicate Friday at a fun day where we put away all the formal work and have fun making memories, getting messy and just enjoying the freedom we have.
Take Photos
We do so many wonderful activities these days and I never remember to take photos because I think I will remember it. I don’t. Now I live with the regret that I don’t have anything to look back on. I think this point goes for life in general though too.
Keep Good Records
Oh how I wish I had done this from the start. There are a few reasons why I think record keeping is so important.
- In case you get audited. Where we live each year 10% of families are audited and required to show proof that they are actually providing their children with a good education. Even if it not done in your state, it is not unheard of for homeschooling families to have child services knocking on the door. Often it is just a nosy neighbour who is curious as to why children aren’t at school during the day but too lazy to actually ask the parents. By having some good records you can have something to show if you ever need to prove anything to anyone.
- To put your own mind at ease. When you keep good records you are able to see the progress your children have made over the year. It is so easy to get discouraged thinking that you aren’t doing well or they aren’t learning. I felt like this, this year. I went to give my daughter her end of year progress test for reading fearing that she wasn’t going to do as well as I would of hoped for. She did they same test on the first day of the school year and got over 90% of it wrong. Today she scored 99.8% correct.
I will write a proper post of how I keep my records later but for now I will just explain it briefly. I keep at portfolio of work samples for each subject. I also include pre-tests and post-tests that show their progress.
There is No Right Way to Homeschool
Homeschooling looks different for every family. There is no fail safe method for success. You may have to try a million different curriculums, methods, ideas before you find the right combination for your children. You will find as the years go by that you will continuously need to tweak things here and there. That is the benefit of homeschooling. You don’t need to fit into a box and do what everyone else is doing. You can do what works for you. I have a lot of friends who homeschool and none of them use the exact same curriculum as me. Some of them are unschoolers and quite a few have kids on the autism spectrum. But you know what? Every one of those kids is succeeding because they have parents who are doing the best they can for them.
Homeschooling Will Change You
I am not the same person I was when I started. I am not the same mother. I am a better mother, wife, teacher and person because of homeschooling. It has taught me more about myself than anything I have ever done before. It has tested me beyond what I thought was possible and it has given me some of the most cherished memories I have with my children. I would not change it for the world. The good days far outweigh the tough days. There are hard times when you question yourself but that’s just life isn’t it? Without the hard parts you would never appreciate the truely wonderful bits.
